Alone In The Database

Farewell My Friend...



We met in an Electronics Boutique in New Orleans many years ago..  He was some strange guy who liked to talk too much for my taste.  Especially since he fit every definition of "stranger" that I'd ever had.  I just wanted to look at the C64 games and go home.  I "screened" him through a couple of local BBS's that I was active on at the time, and we got to know each other.



The more I knew him the more I knew that he was the strangest individual I'd ever known.   He believed in his own made-up gods and in some ways was terribly unethical.  When we shared an apartment I found him once dancing around with nails in his hands which he later nailed into the corners of the floor "to keep out the bad spirits."  I told him he was already inside the place, and he thought that was funny.



We could not have been more different.  Yet he became my friend.  So much of what I enjoy in life came from him.  He introduced me to people that I've known and loved for many years.  He taught me wargames and strategy games and RPGs.  "Oooh, you got plus 3 strength?" I used to laugh.  Now I understand.



Not enough people loved him I think.  He had a stormy family relationship, and I just thought that was normal because most of what I knew of him had that aspect.  I got a call from his step-mom yesterday.  She says he took his own life a few days ago and was just found in his apartment.



God how I'll miss him.  How I wish I could have been a better friend.   Been there to prevent this.  Been there to help make his life worth living in his eyes.



I hope the Bible isn't true.  I'd trade "my mansion in the sky" for a "sleep forever and not know the difference" to keep him from eternal torment.  Wasn't his life enough torment?



God, how I hate this world sometimes.



Chris, I love you.  Most of the things I enjoy doing I learned from you.  Some of my closest friends were introduced to me by you.  You helped me in so many ways.  I'll never forget you.